Stream of Consciousness - My mind and me

My mind 

is untethered.

The pages float around only to be read in passing.

yet I can read them in order if I want.

through all the disarray and all the chaos, 

I and I alone am able to explore the vast and scattered archives.

Yet it is far from mastery.

Often times the mess will cloud my decisions and give me all possible routes.

and when all options are available, 

none can be chosen.

My mind creates a reality that debunks my eyes.

The battle between my eyes and mind unground me from reality.

Forethought is a mere passing fancy as words flow from my mouth.

No filter.

yet I stop myself.

I stop myself from hurting others.

I have no duty.

No principles.

yet I act according to what I wish

Me.

I am not held down.

I have no anchor.

I am not reborn.

I change.

I learn.

I relearn.

I unchange.

I see.

And what I see is all I know to be true.

and yet it is an illusion.

I am free.

I am improvising.

I despise words.

They are the greatest trick I have payed on myself

They give my thoughts a false meaning that only I can understand

and thus I am trapped.I am unable to reach out

beyond the confines of my own mind.

But this is no cage. 

a cage has walls.

Walls do not exist within ones own mind.

I suppose it is better described as a maze.

a labyrinth.

and yet...

I see.

I see beyond the walls of skin

and I see what people feel.

I feel what they feel.

And I have long to admit that I feel nothing.

Or at least I don't care.

All in all

Their pain means nothing to me.

Merely a signal for me to change course.

And I will hide this feeling again when convenient.

So I am left again, to myself.

Not to other people. 

Insofar as what they are within the confines of my labyrinth.

And now I must think of this labyrinth again.

It is an unsolveable sovleable maze with no walls

It is a paradox upon a paradox

So perhaps I am wrong in how I describe it.

Now I think to the title of this blog.

Mind stream.

and I think of the chaos of a moving stream.

It is nearly unstoppable.

I abstract 

or the opposite.

I think of the perfect alignment for this metaphor.

I think of nature.

It's chaos.

It's restlessness.

It's unstoppable motion.

And I think of how man has learned to control it.

I think of the power that it has given us.

I think of the sun, the moon, the tides, the streams

the life...

all of them together as one discordant clockwork.

Despite all its cluttered workings, we, as humanity, have thrived to understand and use it to our benefit. That is how I have learned to describe my mind. And all that follow it.